8 Random Dutch Facts
Everything you ever wanted to know about the Dutch but were afraid to ask, right here for you. Well, 8 things. Roughly.
The Bridge was Open, Miss
“The bridge was open” is a stock excuse for being late, along the lines of “the dog ate my homework”. Often it is true though. We have so much water, and many bridges, and many of our boats don’t fit under them.
2. Curls
In the Netherlands, when you have completed a job or got an answer right, you don’t tick. You “curl”.
3. Birthday Party Etiquette
At a Dutch birthday party, you are expected to extend your well-wishes to everyone you find in the room when you arrive. Appropriately.
Example: “Congratulations on your son’s birthday”
”Congratulations on your great uncle’s birthday”
As you can imagine, you would do well to revise all family relationships and do some Facebook stalking before you go. In fact, it is best to be the first to arrive to minimise the person-specific congratulations required.
And don’t forget to shake EVERYONE’s hand before you leave.
5. The Committee for Ensuring Beautiful Living Spaces for All
The Dutch government and local councils like to be intimately involved in everything. There is a committee that oversees aesthetic decisions regarding building work and they have a final say in whether you should be allowed to paint your front door, say, pink.
Case in point: in one street, residents started creating these little “tree gardens” with wild flowers. Then one day, council employees appeared and started digging them all up. Turns out you need to officially notify a Council Green Coach before making a tree garden.
12. The Bike Cellar
Well, you need somewhere to put all those bikes, don’t you?
If you were wondering how you get your bicycle in and out of a bike cellar, please note the handy little gutter to the right and left of the staircase. The stairs are for you - the gutter for your bike.
10. Everyone Deserves a Break
At quiet times of the day, traffic signals get a break from their hectic lives and are set to flashing amber. This means “use your common sense and try not to die”.
8. Privacy
Dutch people love asking intrusive questions. Particularly, we enjoy Paul Hollywooding your life choices: “Oh! So you’re only 23 and you’re getting married? Hm. Interesting. Why are you doing that?”
We are deeply unconcerned with privacy in general. Our houses have lovely big windows for the casual passer-by to look through into our living rooms, and nobody bats an eyelid while changing for PE at school.
However, the Dutch don't like big feelings. The only excessive display of emotion that is acceptable is outrage at other people's (faulty) opinions. Any other type of fervour is greeted with embarrassment and 'just act normal, that's crazy enough.'
